So, there I am...sitting in the drive-thru at McDonalds. (Not that important really...everyone reading this has been there more than once, I'm sure. So, you know what I'm talking about.)

I pull up to the little speaker and bark out my order from memory (probably a bad sign considering...) and wait for the voice of approval to squawk back at me with my total amount owed and telling me to pull forward to the first window...which I do willingly and with much anticipation (OK, so I might be over-exaggerating that 'anicipation' part. I mean...this is McDonalds...).

I sit in my Sport Family Truckster (that's what I call my Dodge Caravan Sport...its better than saying I drive a mini-van, isn't it??) and politely hand the dude on the other side of the sliding glass window my debit card. Swiped and freshly charged $4.35, he hands it back to me...and without a word, shuts the window.

Puzzled...I sit there.

And....I sit there.....

And..........I sit there.........

And..................I sit there....................contemplating why I didnt just go to Burger King....I mean, its been a long time since I have been there. It's just right up the street. And, the service there is always faster anyway. Dang it. Should have gone to Burger King...I could just drive away right now...After all, it's only $4.35...Not much of a loss...Yeah, that's what I will do...I will just drive away...OK, one more minute...

And...................I..........sit..............there...........waiting..........for what must have been a good three, maybe even four minutes!!!

I KNOW!!

The horror!!

The drama!!

The unmitigated gall!!

Making me wait that long...what were they thinking??? Don't they know that I want what I want and I want it right now??? Isn't that the entire point of using a service like this???

Suddenly, the window flies open and Silent Bob hands me my food and WHAM! door is closed again and I drive off feeling like I just wasted 4 minutes of my life. (This had better be the best breakfast burrito I have ever eaten, damn it...)

Now, correct me if I'm wrong...(and I'm willing to bet dollars against donuts that I'm right)...but, there are WAY more real estate agents in your town than restaurants. Knowing this, and knowing that all of you have said "yes" to those last two questions I asked about wanting what I want and that being the entire point of using their services...Why on Earth would you wait to follow up on a client??

By hitting your website and requesting information...aren't they sitting on the other side of that sliding glass window in your drive-thru lane just waiting for you to hand them the bag full of goodies they requested??

Let's examine a couple things to prove my point...

Did you know that the average real estate agent waits 54 hours to follow up on an internet inquiry?? 54 hours!! In case you aren't that quick at math, that is over 2 days!! (If you remember from the example above, I was ready to leave after 4 minutes...)

According to a recent study done by Kellog and MIT, you are 21 TIMES more likely to turn an internet inquiry into a client if you contact them the first time within the first 5 minutes of them being on your website versus waiting only 30 minutes.

And, that percentage chance drops to single digits if you wait longer than 90 minutes.

Let me give you a quick example of what that difference is...(There is some physical involvement here. Trust me, this little exercise will drive my point home nicely...)

Find a box of paperclips.

Once you have done that...take out one paperclip and lay it down on your desk. Now, take out 21 paperclips and lay them out end to end across your desk in front of you.

See the difference??

21 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO GET A CLIENT by calling them back in 5 minutes versus 30!!

So, why would you wait over 2 days?? Or, 90 minutes?? Or even 10 minutes?? In the internet world, 90 minutes is an entire ice age!! What do you think making them wait for over 2 days seems like?? Yeah...in the internet world, that's an eternity!!

Bottom line -- If you do not have systems in place to allow you to respond to an internet inquiry within the first 5 minutes of having it, you are losing clients. They are leaving your site and heading to another site that will give them what they want with the response times they require. Your clients want the same thing you do while you sit in the drive-thru. They want what they want and they want it right now. And, if they cant get it from you, they are going to find somewhere else to get it.

* For the record, The chart I used above is from the Kellogg Lead Response Management Study.

** Also, for the record, the McDonalds and Burger King logos were posted on other blogs that I read and were posted with permission from those other bloggers.

*** Oh yeah...In the interest of full disclosure and a generous dose of CYA...  All opinions with regards to either restaurant's quality, speed, location, value, taste, convenience, or any other noun you can insert here are STRICTLY MY OPINIONS. They are not fact. And, should not be taken as such.

If you would like more information about Real Estate Client Referrals and how we can help you make more money, please contact Clint at 800-977-7058. If you would rather stalk us voyeuristicly, you can fan us on Facebook or follow Clint on Twitter. 

If you have ever read any of my blog posts in the past, you know that RECR has a fanpage set up on Facebook.

Many of you also know that I am the administrator for that fanpage.

For those of you that dont know either of these things, click here and join! 

Yesterday, I decided I would take 60 seconds and create a video to post up on the fan page. After messing with my computer for nearly an hour and realizing that my microphone wasnt going to work regardless of how many times I unplugged the mic and plugged it back in, I decided to take a page ouf of @realestatezebra's book and record the video anyway without sound.

So, I printed out what I wanted to say in huge block letters and simply held up pages of paper to the camera.  Here is what ensued...

There will be plenty more of these in the future!! Make sure you dont miss out and join the RECR fanpage.

Social Media in Plain English

Now that I am working closely with several people in my local area in teaching businesses the power of social media, I am constantly on the hunt for new, innovative ways to explain why they should be involved in networks like Twitter and Facebook, etc...

This is one of the best examples I have ever found as to why social media exists, why it works, and why so many are turning towards it to help build their businesses!!

Let's face facts...buying a foreclosure isnt exactly a simply process. In fact, some would say the entire process sucks.

But, it can actually be even worse than you thought originally for your client without recognizing these 10 simple red flags. Knowing what to look for can save your clients thousands of dollars in the long run...

1. Air Quality: The air quality inside will tell you a lot about the over-all condition of the home. Musty or dirty smells can mean mold and mildew has developed. Perhaps a water leak...perhaps a leaky roof. Make sure you include air and surface testing in your home inspection. Yes, it costs money. But, that is a few hundred dollars well spent.

2. Peeling, bubbling or discolored paint: 9 times out of 10 this is caused by moisture...moisture that can cause mold. Swelling in walls or ceilings or a musty odor immediately point to water damage. Make sure you check the major surfaces in all areas around the kitchen and bathroom and UNDER these same rooms as well.

3. Missing sinks or other fixtures: We have all seen the news stories of disgruntled home owners that have been foreclosed on tearing out kitchen cabinets, toilets, sinks, etc. Make sure that, if the home you are looking to buy is missing these things, that they were removed properly and not simply torn from the wall or floor. That is the difference between replacing a toilet and replacing a wall, a floor, some plumbing, and a toilet.

4. Unheated during the winter: If the home was winterized properly, you have nothing to worry about. But, if not...there is plenty to worry about. Without it, water in pipes can freeze cracking seals, cracking pipes (both inbound and outbound) and potentially causing major water damage. Check all water lines leading to and from water heaters and all fixtures and the drain lines leading to the main sewer line until it leaves the structure.

5. Fungus growth: Fungus requires water to grow. If you find mold, there was or is water there. However, water flows downhill. So, look for the source of the water above where you find the mold.

6. Blocked drains: Blocked pipes will cause any number of potential issues including a sewage backup. Make sure all of your drains work properly and toilets flush with no issues.

7. Older homes with lots of renovations: Check with the city. Hopefully, these major renovations are tracible by being able to pull permits for the work that was done. Many older homes had asbestos (either in the insulation or in the tiles used). Make sure that any disturbance to this type of material was handled by trained professionals and that they potential risk is eliminated.

8. Excessive painting: Any "fresh" paint is subject to inspection. Especially if they felt the need to paint the molding, doors, even the wood floors. This is one of the main ways that people try to cover up the existence of mold. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

9. Discolored subflooring: When you are inspecting the basement, make sure you look up. Check out the subfloor above your head. Make sure you look for any evidence of discoloration or darkening stain residue. Also, look for holes in the subflooring that moisture could gather and create potential hazards later. Inspect those well to ensure they are dry and dont contain mold already.

10. Dingy walls or black cobwebs: If the walls have a dingy grey film on them or the light fixtures have a thin black cobweb-type appearance, you may be dealing with soot damage. Soot damage would be from several potential sources: a previous fire; a plugged chimeny associated with a wood stove; maybe even a malfunctioning furnace. Have your chimneys professionally cleaned and make sure that the furnace is tested by people that know what they are doing.

Yeah, you can get a great deal on a foreclosed home. But, knowing what to look for when in the buying process is the difference between getting a great deal...and buying a money pit.

If you would like information about Real Estate Client Referrals, please contact Clint at 800-977-7058. Also, become a fan of RECR on Facebook. And, if you are on Twitter, follow Clint!

Let me start of by saying that this is satire. And this should be read with that idea in mind. It is intended to be humorous. Nothing more. Ok?

As long as we understand one another, you can keep reading...

If not, please push ALT + F4 now. :-)

Common Man's Dictionary to Real Estate Advertising

1 car garage: Sure, you can drive your Ford Escort into the garage but there is no room to open the door.

Advertisement: A tool used by business to get money out of people that don't have it for something that they don't really need.

And much, much more: Truthfully, nothing else comes to mind. But, we can't tell you that.

Auditor: Person that arrives after battle to finish off the wounded.

Bank: Loan shark.

Beachfront property: No hurricane insurance available at any price.

Bedroom in basement: The basement has a 1' by 2' window you might be able to squeeze yourself through as an alternative to burning to death in a structure fire.

Bright and sunny: No window treatments or venetian blinds are included because previous owners simply nailed Pikachu blankets to the window frames.

BRILLIANT CONCEPT: Do you really need a two-story live oak tree in your 30-foot stained-glass sky dome?

Broker: What buying a house is going to make you.

Budget: Written proof that you can't afford the things you want.

Build sweat equity: The house is not habitable currently and unless you plan on working your hind end off to make it livable, it would be easier to bulldoze this place and live in a tent.

Cape Cod: Stylized after a 74 yr old lobster fisherman's garage.

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Cathedral Ceiling: You will go broke trying to heat this place. It would be easier to set fire to the couch.

Charming: Small. See also, "Tiny". Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would have to find their own place. See also "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."

Close to all amenities: The backyard is a shopping mall parking lot.

Close to Schools: You will spend a generous portion of your morning and evening commute stuck behind buses in just about every street you attempt to take to avoid them.

Comfortable: One coat closet larger than the "Charming" home.

Commuter's Dream: Located at the bottom of an off-ramp right beside a truck stop.

Completely Remodeled: Not only does this statement give the company attorney a stroke, it also usually means new kitchen counter tops and a vanity sink in the bathroom.

Complete remodeling in 1992: Hurricane Andrew...'nuff said.

COMPLETELY UPDATED: At the advise of the listing agent, the seller has decided to remove the metallic gold shag carpeting from the living room and replaced the avocado colored stove.

Contemporary: The house is at least 15 years old.

Country living: Too far from anywhere to drive to work...or to shop...or get to an emergency room in time to prevent bleeding out from a paper cut.

Country in the city: A grotesquely overpriced large lot with a 2 bedroom house built before World War I that used to be on 100 acres that have been split off and sold to a Home Depot and a car dealership. Yes, there is a Starbucks in the parking lot.

Cozy: Not a single room could fit a full sized bed. And, the toilet doubles as a kitchen counter when you close the lid.

DARING DESIGN: It's a warehouse.

Desirable neighborhood: This "charming" house is extravagantly overpriced thanks to being located next to a neighborhood where the snobs live.

Doll-house: Tiny place filled with ugly knick-knacks.

Easy Care Yard: Acres of Red or White rock used to systematically cover actual useful space.

Easy freeway access: Located right on the noisiest arterial street closest to the freeway.

Easy to heat: See “cozy”.

Efficiently designed kitchen: The kitchen is too small to fit two people at the same time and everything you need to reach is simply done so by turning around. The down side is that in order to open the stove, you have to step into the living room.

Everything's Been Updated: Sure, they updated all the things inside the house...but the house itself has been condemned.

Executive neighborhood: Everyone's last name in this area is Jones. And yes...you are required to keep up with them.

Extra Storage: Four coat hooks nailed on the back of the front door.

Gated Community: There is a reason it is gated...Every seen 'District 9'???

Great Starter Home: House has 4 rooms. Two of which are additions.

Handyman Special: Forget It! You don't have the skill required to make this home livable.

HI-TECH/CONTEMPORARY: Lots of steel shelving with little holes. You know...the kind your dad used to store tools on in the basement. There is also a lot of glass in places most people wouldn't put it.

Wont last long!: This home hasnt sold in 374 days after two price reductions and the sellers have finally given up hope on making any money on this sale so they dropped the price another $20K.

Immaculate: Remove your shoes. Chances are the carpet is white along with the walls, furniture, cabinets, appliances, and the family pet.

In-city living: The house comes with a deadbolt lock on all windows, a bar across the door capable of stopping a battering ram...and a moat. Being outside in this neighborhood after dark will probably require an armed escort.

Institutional Investor: A active housing investor from 2006 who is now locked up in a mental institute.

Just available: The previous owner just died on the premises. That is the only way anyone would want to sell a home in this market unless they are trying to save a foreclosure. Hope you don’t believe in ghosts.

Large family room: The basement can hold a couch and a chair...which is more than can be said for the living room. Just try to keep the kids from eating the exposed insulation.

Lots of storage space: The basement is too small to be called a family room.

Low maintenance lot: No yard. The kids will have to play in the street. Or, maybe in the shopping mall parking lot.

Luxury Living: It has a Jacuzzi tub. It's leaning against the wall of the garage. But, at least it has one.

Market Correction: The day after you buy a house.

MUCH POTENTIAL: Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and actually believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities. See "Ready to Rehab," and "Fixer Upper."

Must see inside: Yeah...that's cause the outside is ugly.

MUST SEE TO BELIEVE: An absolutely accurate statement. It is hard to drive that kind of pain home through the eye without actually using a sharp instrument and a forceful thrust.

Market Correction: The term your broker/agent uses for a market crash while telling you that your house is worth 37% of what you paid for it.

Meticulously maintained in the original condition: The avocado-colored appliances are 50 years old. Minimum.

Modern: It doesn't have a dirt floor and it is insulated with something other than beaver pelts and flour sacks.

Motivated sellers: Subtract 15% from the asking price and see if they counter.

Natural setting: Forget about planting anything because the deer will eat everything in your yard but the sagebrush and knapweed.

Near transportation: an Amtrak train goes through the backyard roughly every 15 minutes, day and night.

Neighborhood Watch: Your next door neighbor has binoculars trained on your house. Your movements are tracked and reported to the police any time you have company.

Newly remodeled kitchen: The 50-year old cabinetry and faucets have been replaced with cheap modern equivalents.

Nice Condition: Apparently "nice" means different things to different people. See also: "Lipstick on a pig".

Nighttime Security: The street lights located on all corners of the home completely eliminate darkness 24 hours a day. Sleep is impossible.

No need to preview: Yeah, because if you did, you wouldn't show it!

Old charmer: Herbert from Family Guy lives next door.

ONE-OF-A-KIND: Ugly as sin. The neighbors hope the place burns down so their property value goes up.

Park-like setting: There is a tree located somewhere on this block.

Partial mountain view: You can see the tip of (insert name of local mountain) if you climb the roof and stand on a chair.

Pet friendly neighborhood: Various forms of organic matter are constantly deposited in your front lawn despite the fact that you don't own any pets.

Plenty of Parking: The stadium across the street has ACRES of parking spaces available.

Practicing Water Conservation: Yeah, the lawn is died. No one watered it. Ever. (Thank you Steve and Heather Ostrom!)

Prestigious: Expensive. Probably not worth it, either.

Prime Location: We have already had better offers from more qualified people than you...don't ask.

Quaint: Buy a wall paper steamer so you can get that crap off the wall without having to gut the entire place.

Ready to move in: The interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint and the shag carpeting has been raked and shampooed.

Ready to remodel: This place is about to collapse; you will have to invest twice the asking price in remodel before you can move in. Seen the movie "The Money Pit"??

Recreation room with wet bar: Basement has been sheet-rocked, painted and has a faucet.

Reduced To Move: See also: "Walmart Rollback"

Rent With Option to Buy: We know you wont be able to qualify for crap...But, if you can make steady payments, it works for us.

Safe Neighborhood: Regardless of your attempts at privacy, your neighbors will continue to attempt to peer through the slits in your Venetian blinds. See also: "Neighborhood Watch"

Seasonal creek: There is a 4 foot wide, 6 inch deep muddy ditch that runs across the property...And it only fills up after a good rain or during spring thaw.

Secluded setting: The only thing further away from civilization is a polar ice cap. Grizzly Adams once lived here.

Show and Sell: In other words, the listing agent will be doing no marketing and the stubborn seller doesn't want it staged.

Shows Well: The seller actually cleans the place up before you bring your buyers over.

Sophisticated: Plain. White walls with zebra print rug and furnishings. A large piece of abstract art is in the dining room and a canvas the size of a Chevy hangs on the wall covered in what appears to be pantyhose, tin foil, and computer diskettes.

Spacious: We knocked out a wall and expanded the living room into the garage.

Sprawling ranch: Inefficient floor plan that appears to have been designed by a drunk monkey.

Storybook: This house is old and the roof is not flat. See also: "Little House On The Prairie"

Stunning house: The house is not ugly...the interior, on the other hand...

Sunny corner lot: There are no trees anywhere near this property located on the corner of the two busiest streets in town.

Sunken Tub: The tub isn't sunken...it fell through the floor. The remaining structure is only capable of holding water or a body. Not both.

Territorial view: Great view of your neighbor’s bedroom window and "private" hot tub with the glass roof. If you lean hard against the glass and look hard to the left, you can see a broken down Pontiac in the alley.

Three season sun room: Putting screen up around your front porch does not make it a "sun room".

TLC: Tear down, Level and Condemn!! (This after a Realtor told me her country property needed just a little TLC...Upon visiting, I promptly fell through the front porch up to my knees!)

Townhouse: A 3 story walk-up on the north side that is sandwiched between two others that look exactly the same. Not only can you hear your neighbors fight, but you hear when they play music, watch TV, use the bathroom, or blink.

Tudor: A quaint two bedroom where both bedrooms are now in the attic which is not insulated.

UNIQUE CITY HOME: Used to be a warehouse.

UPPER BRACKET: No, this doesn't include you. See also: "Executive Neighborhood" and "Prestigious"

Usable land: Vacant lot. Probably filled with broken glass, nails, large rocks, bicycle parts, and Jimmy Hoffa.

Victorian Sweetheart: Once you steam off the wallpaper, you will need to strip off 14 layers of lead-based paint.

Walking distance to (insert noun here): There is nowhere to park your car within 20 minutes of this house.

Well Below Market: We keep having to reduce the price on this shanty because nobody wants it.

Will Help Finance: Soooo....the owners know they're asking too much. And, taking that into consideration, they are more than willing to "help" you get into this house that you can not qualify on your own.

YOU'LL LOVE IT: No. No, you wont.

Feel free to add your own in the comments!!! Id love to see them!!

Follow Clint on Twitter and make sure you go to the RECR fanpage and become a fan!! If you have any questions about RECR, please call Clint at 800-977-7058.

I follow a LOT of things on Twitter...and a lot of people.

One of them is Toby Boyce. And, here is why...

Realtors & Homeowners – Get a First Line of Defense with a Held Harmless Membership Shield

by golisting

February 2, 2010

A Held Harmless Membership Shield is a product that everyone needs to sit up and take notice of and it’s probably the best $50 (Individuals) or $100 (Businesses) that you will spend this year. We bought shields for ourselves and our businesses for 2010 and have gained peace of mind as a result.

I dont care who you are....this is funny!

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.

He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God,it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana.

God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"

The loan was approved.

My good friend Tom Royce (@TomRoyce on Twitter) writes a real estate blog and has some really good articles on there. The one he posted today on www.therealestatebloggers.com was just too good not to ask for permission to post on here. Thankfully, Tom agreed. (Its a good thing he did too. Im bigger than he is...LOL)

I'll Take Some Eggs, A Gallon of Milk, and a 3-Bedroom Ranch??

Just because you can do something does not mean you should do it.

Someone please explain that to the braintrust of Re/Max of New England.

Seriously.

They are planning on opening up 17 offices in Stop & Shop grocery stores. Again, my reaction is "Seriously??"

The idea of going to a grocery store to buy a house just degrades the brand. There is no alignment there. Eggs, milk, and Re/Max just does not do the brand justice.

If I was a Re/Max agent in New England I would be screaming at management. Imagine having to do desk duty next to the register? And if they do not listen, time to get new Keller Williams business cards...

Would you like Paper or Plastic?

Jay Hummer, executive vice president at Re/Max of New England, said the Natick company signed an agreement with Quincy-based Stop & Shop Supermarket Co. late last year to open as many as 17 real estate offices in Stop & Shop supermarkets within the next year. Most of the potential locations are in Southeastern Massachusetts.

Hummer said Re/Max franchisees were told about the opportunity to open offices in the stores last week.

“It’s something we’ve been working on for a year now,” Hummer said. “It’s a great way for our broker-owners and agents to be able to connect with the consumer … in a very convenient location.” via Enterprise News

I would LOVE to hear comments from people with regards to this post!!  Please, share your opinion!! 

If you would like information about RECR and how we can get you more clients, please contact Clint at 800-977-7058. Or, follow him on twitter. Or, fan us on Facebook!

I have written posts in the past about guerrilla marketing....

For those of you that want the whole story here...

This is a viral video started by placing a random Coke machine on a random college campus and filming the results as part of a global marketing campain launch.

If you ask me...what resulted was --- AWESOME!

This is one of the greatest things I have ever seen!!