I love my sons...probably more than they will ever know. But, there are a few things that I have learned having sons that has lead me to do a couple things:
1. Apologize to my parents.
2. Pray for forgiveness.
3. Call neighboring states to see if any of my previous exploits have lead to warrants for my arrest.
So far, Im good...LOL. But, I have learned some new things about boys that I just had to share with you all...If you have a son or ever were a son or have brother or sisters with sons, this will make perfect sense to you as well.
THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY SONS
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11. "Play dough" and "microwave" should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Missoula, MT has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. (Trust me, it works...)
HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK!!!
If you would like information about www.recr.com, please contact Clint at 800-977-7058 and I would be happy to speak with you.
Clint...
I'm still laughing, am flagging this for a feature, and YES, I will try mixing Clorox and Brake Fluid. This is priceless, good job!
Hey Clint, Funny list. Should I presume it comes from real life ?
Clint I have a 15 year old son, who is never alone so there is trouble in groups, especially if the home they try most of the daring feats while visiting belongs to the only one in the bunch thats your's (and your's is the house they like to hang out at). Great stories I will not be printing the details , formulas or recipes to bring home to my young scientist(s) thank you?! Steve
I can't seem to stop laughing. (I'm the mother of 2 sons, both grown and it feels like yesterday that I was losing my mind...)
Richard -- Thanks, man! I appreciate that. And yes...it works. Depending on the mixture, it can make you figure out what your fire department's response time is...cause your neighbors will call it in...LOL
Bill -- A good portion of it comes from my sons...and a good portion of it came from my time as my mother's son. I wanted to add a pic of my son with his head burried in the butter container, but the pic is HUGE...LOL
Steve -- Idle hands are the devil's playground. LOL!! Sometime I will have to tell you the story of my best friend and myself playing with model rocket engines in my back yard...took me a couple weeks to grow that eyebrow back....LOL!
Kris -- See! You feel my pain!!! LOL Love them to death, but if they make it to gradeschool, I will be amazed...lol
I have 2 grown daughters and 1 that is turning 17. But, nothing they have done could have prepared me for this one...lol
Clint,
Great post...there are 3 boys still at home I'm reluctant to show this post to...they could probably add a couple more items to the list...BTW, if you ever visit, we'll demonstrate our 'cheap hair spray' powered potato launcher...errrrhh, I mean our Red Neck Garbage Disposal!!! LOL, Thanks, Fran
P.S. Off to find some dust bunnies!!!
Fran -- Thanks! LOL @ not showing this post to your boys. You have a spud gun too?? I was launching em into the lake just last weekend...LOL! Have fun torching dust bunnies...get some Clorox and brake fluid...LOL
Clint, LOL, I have some new ideas now....
Duane -- Awesome! Glad I could help...LOL
Priceless!!!
I have four boys and six girls---believe me that my girls have tried all of this while the boys stood back and watched------------------
Mary Ellen ---- YOU HAVE 10 KIDS????? And you are still alive????? WOW! You beat me by 2 times...lol. And Im sooooo with you on the girls thing. I have 3 girls, 19,18, and 16. And they were FAR more trouble than the boys have been so far...LOL
Clint,
These are great. Boys certainly do teach you A LOT about being more patient. Thanks for the laughs and thanks for stopping by my blog.
Joshua and Kathy -- Thanks! Yes, they do! And one thing I can rely on is that if my sons are quiet...there is some trouble startin...lol. And you are welcome! Thanks for stopping by!
Clint - I didn't know about the hair spray, dust bunny thing.
I did find out that the Benicial Ca. fire department response was 4 min.
I am aware of the things I did that my son didn't (I hope). I don't want to find out about the things he did that I don't know about.
Ignorance is lower blood pressure.
Mike -- Agreed!!! That was one of the reasons that I called around asking about warrants...LOL! NO, I dont plan on telling them about my exploits...and I hope they dont tell me about thiers...Thanks for commenting!